DUMPED!

Dumped by the ex boyfriends named employment, money etc etc You get the drift...
So i woke up this morning with itchy fingers. No, i mean literally itchy. Red bruised palms and I was scratching them like they owed me money. "It means your money is coming..." Said my aunt. "Shey ori woman yi pe ni??" I said(of course 'for my mind'), as I squeezed on a bottle of hydrocortisone Now why so violent you may ask. Simple. F**k the world. Yea I said it.
Ok Im sorry.

You see the thing is I've suffered quite a number of disappointments back to back. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get back the 2minutes of my life where I bashed my head against a brick wall of all my fears. My fears that had somehow morphed into tinny goblins... Err Ojuju calabars rather, taunting and dancing around me, letting me know that 'wahala dey'. And no please I do not need to go to prayer city. This is all figurative... Or is it?

This morning for me is about God telling me "Dewunmi write, write! " During yesterdays third mainland debacle, as I stood stranded in the middle of the gazzillion foot long bridge, admist thoughts about the stories I heard about 'awon boys' who miraculously get on the bridge, rob and maim you, I pondered on what my place in life was. There I was with my brother and we were trying to flag down total strangers who were driving at cut-throat-scatter-bodi speed. Hahaa! Where did I think I was?

I knew where I was. I was in a near hopeless situation and I stopped to look at the view, to appreciate the scenery, you know maybe I might get a good photo for instagram lol. Looking far ahead I noticed the shanties at the far ends of the bridge. And no it wasnt a humbling moment for me. I wasnt thinking about how some people had more than I did or that some people earned less than a dollar a day or that my degree gives me an edge over them. No.

For once I realised that that manner of thinking brings mediocrity and a satisfaction in ones miniscule victories. Rather I thought to myself that in as much as the little victories are important, the big victories are equally important. Running away from big challenges makes you a big loser. "Challenge yourself Dewunmi" I muttered. I saw that my people who live in horrible conditions of abject poverty here in our country, aren't poor, rather Im the one who is poor. I am poor because I know I do not have the strength and mental capability to be in their shoes. They are the people who have true strength, they are a large part of our population and they are the true Nigerians. So I drew inspiration from that view, that magnificent view. The view of our reality. My real, my true.

Then it hit me. It hit me as a yellow bus sped by, causing the salty ocean breeze to smack me accross the face. It hit me. Mesmerised by the strong ocean current, I realised that my place is where I make it. Its here. My city, my people, my life!
Still stuck on the bridge, seconds after my great earth moving epiphany and Aha! moment, a miracle occurrred (a story for another day).

And so this is how I've tucked my white flag back into my backpack and I'm hopeful this day not for my exes to return. No. Hopeful for new relationships with laughter, confidence, adventure, risk taking, depth and endless possibilities. So as I erect my flag of 'Dewunmi Nation', with my superbite and lacasera in hand, I'm screaming "lebete! Lebete! Lebete!!!!" at the top of my lungs :)

'Dewunmi Nation.