I was a witch.
I could feel my fangs growing. My fangs were ready to dig into anyone who dared to cross me.
My broomstick stood proudly by my side.
Wait.
Was I the obodo oyinbo witch with a broom and wand or was I just an 'Iya oshoronga' of Nigerian origins?
Even us witches have identity crises. *sigh*
Alright, so I was a Nigerian witch. Bad teeth, bad hair, horrible smelly clothes and of course lots of one thousand naira bills in my purse.
There I stood at the bus stop. I could have just flown to church that sunday oh.
"Thank you global warming..." I muttered to myself.
It had began to shower, the feather weight droplets of aqua quickly morphed into heavy painful beads of rain.
Not again.
Stuck at a bus stop, no means of transportation in sight.
The doom of racoon eyes was impending as I tryed to remember if the mascara I had used was water proof or not.
Never had I been so happy to see a 'keke napep', I almost did the harlem shake.
The princess got into her chariot lol, sorry the witch got into her chariot rather.
"Wetin?!! I nor get change oh..."
This keke napep driver was not going to start this with me this early morning.
No he was not.
He made me look like a witch out to suck his blood.
I was paying for a fifty naira trip with a one thousand naira note. To him, I must have been a witch.
"I nor get change!!"
I had told him before getting into his vehicle that all I had was one thousands.
I was just recovering from the nuclear bomb that was my atm account balance. I almost went into a coma when I saw it ( story for another day lol)
"Thats how you women do, expect me to be looking for change...!!!"
He was yelling now.
Rummaging through my bag I hoped to find change to make this troll shut up.
I did not find any.
Shoving the money in my hand he kept yelling.
If I turned him into a sad looking tuber of yam or a fake rolex watch you would call me wicked abi??
I paused for a moment, took a long hard look at him.
"Oga, you for cool down. Today na sunday. You for cool temper..." I said smiling as I motioned the 'cool temper' gesture placing my palm on my chest.
He was shocked.
He looked embarrassed.
His face fell.
I walked off. (like a boss)
I was not going to let him get to me.
Nope.
Was it easy?
Well it was easier than getting into a shouting match with a keke napep driver by the roadside.
*honk! Honk!! Honk!!!!*
A keke napep drove up to my side.
It was the same man.
Oh Lord, what now??
"Sister, abeg nor vex. Please dont be angry. Nor be my fault say I just dey shira for you. Abeg nor vex. Happy sunday ehn..."
I laughed.
"Happy sunday too"
Kill them with love.
It is often very difficult to do this. There are so many things that get in the way.
Things such as our pride as well as the enormous amount of crap people around us get up to. And of course there is the little witch or wizard that lurks around in the corners of our minds wanting to draw blood and turn people into yams, cockroaches, shower caps and pots of jollof rice.
But would you rather be dragged into their horse crap and be humiliated by your own lack of self control?
Kill them with love when they make you angry, when they make you want to rip their heads off.
Kill them with love because its really all you have that you can ever genuinely give.
Kill them with love not for what you can gain from them but for who love makes you.
Kill them with love because as cliché as it sounds, love is that which can melt any heart. It is that which can transform.
Kill them.
